Launching

It's 6 months on since I published my first book, Divine Attachment. At the launch event, the publisher asked me if I was ready for all that came with publishing. How naïve I was, to have considered publication the end! Divine Attachment took 7 years to write, mostly a labour of love and also at times a bit of a slog. I love writing and find the process of reading, digesting, reflecting and articulating a helpful way to slow me down, connect to something in a new way, and get creative. The writing of the book was mostly a personal and internal venture. I'd have mini revelations all by myself (with God there too) and then I'd share them on paper, rather than with a person. I didn't need to worry what anyone else thought about it, because for a long time, it was just for me, in my creative and meandering bubble.

Having my book out in the world has been a surprisingly scary experience. I don't think I'd fully appreciated the vulnerability that comes with creativity. I'd birthed this thing, it was mine, and then suddenly it's out in the world and subject to others' interpretations and opinions. Crucially, over which I had no control.

I know I'm not alone in having a tendency to think that I'll be okay once I have this thing that's just in front of me, whether that be a qualification, a book I've finally gotten around to reading, just that little bit more experience or another person's approval. Before publication, that 'thing' was having a publisher. Afterwards, it's selling the books, being invited to speak, getting everyone's approval (an unachievable ambition) and so the list goes on! How hard it is for us all to be content and to truly know, within ourselves, that we have done and are enough.

Launching this website has taken some time in part because of these risks that come with creating something. I've also been a little unsure if I've 'done enough' and am 'enough' to have a website. There is also the danger that with creating a website, I leave myself even more vulnerable to that sense of 'enough' being on the other side of yet another blog post or positive feedback.

But here we are, ready to go. My hope and prayer is that this space is good enough. That it's a safe place for curious exploration about anything and everything. There is so much to life that intrigues, confuses and bewilders me. It feels important to make space to stand back, reflect and at times interrogate. Thanks so much for your company.